A Designer’s Guide to Hosting Thanksgiving
Image credits (from left): (1) Alison Roman; (2) Alison Roman; (3) Park & Oak via Pinterest
What does “good design” really mean?
If you ask me, it is the harmony of beauty and function. But what does it mean for something to be “functional”? It depends on the context, but I’ve always believed that for something to be truly functional, it has to be approachable, efficient, and practical. This ethos is the lens through which I approach every part of my life, and that includes hosting and planning dinner parties.
With Thanksgiving just around the corner and the holiday season right behind it, I thought I would share how I ‘design’ my dinner parties—from setting the table to planning the menu.
Understanding Your Hosting Style
Before diving into the nitty-gritty, the first question to ask is: What kind of party are you hosting? Who is coming, and what will make for the best fit for this set of guests? Are you aiming for a formal sit-down dinner or a casual grazing affair? Are your guests older, younger, or a mix of ages?
Equally important is understanding what kind of host you are.
You need to be realistic about what you can do and still enjoy yourself.
Some people love the thrill of being in the kitchen, improvising as they go. Others prefer to have everything prepped and ready before the first guest arrives. Some enjoy a potluck approach, where everyone contributes.
There’s no wrong way to do it, but you must know yourself. If you’ve seen The Bear, you’ll remember the Thanksgiving episode where Jamie Lee Curtis’ character ended the dinner by driving her car through the wall. That’s what you DON’T want to happen.
So, here’s my recipe (pun intended) for staying sane and hosting the perfect Thanksgiving (or any dinner party) every time!
Step 1: Pick a Theme
Choosing a theme makes planning the menu much easier and can be adapted to any hosting style.
Whether you’re opting for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner or something more eclectic, a theme helps create a cohesive experience.
I like to plan for a mixture of:
Cold dishes I can prepare in advance,
Elements I can pre-make and reheat, and
Something fresh out of the oven right when serving.
As someone with food allergies, I always check with my guests to ensure everyone can enjoy the meal.
Park & Oak via Pinterest
Alison Roman via Pinterest
Step 2: Choose Your Recipes
Once you have a theme, it’s time to pick your recipes.
I’m a die-hard Alison Roman fan—her recipes never miss and are always a hit.
I also often turn to Carla Lalli Music and Molly Baz for inspiration. When I’m searching for something specific, the New York Times Cooking app is my go-to. It has hundreds of recipes, and as long it has over 4 stars and lots of reviews (which I read), I haven’t been disappointed yet.
Another tip for successful recipe selection is cooking in season. If it’s October, skip the Caprese salad—your tomatoes won’t taste great. Instead, focus on apples, root vegetables, and other readily available ingredients that will help do the work for you.
Step 3: Plan Ahead
Preparation is key to a calm and enjoyable experience.
Grocery shop or reserve what you need from the butcher in advance. This might seem tedious, but trust me, it’s worth it.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the thought of selecting recipes and coordinating them, you can always borrow a pre-designed menu from one of the chefs I mentioned. They often have Thanksgiving specials on their YouTube channels, so you can follow along and save yourself the stress.
Step 4: Don’t Forget the Appetisers
When guests arrive, they’ll expect two things: a drink and a nibble. It doesn’t always make sense, but this is just how it goes. To ensure everyone has a good time, don’t let anyone feel hungry (ever!). Speaking from experience as someone who gets hangry, this step is crucial.
If you’ve followed my earlier advice, you should be able to whip up something simple and on-theme for guests to snack on while they mingle.
Candied Smoked Salmon, Crafted by Yours Truly :)
Our Indian-Themed NYE Dinner Using The Dishoom Cookbook
Step 5: Perfect Your Drinks
Return to your theme and think about the perfect drink pairing.
One New Year’s Eve during the pandemic, my entire family (all 10 of us) decided to cook an entire Indian-themed feast using the Dishoom cookbook. This meant that, right down to the cocktail, we followed the theme from start to finish.
You can make batch cocktails if you’re hosting a larger gathering, or prepare them as guests arrive. However, I recommend planning no more than one specialty cocktail—a lesson I learned the hard way!
A welcome drink is always a nice touch and earns you serious host points. Depending on your hosting style, this could be as simple as a white wine spritzer or as elaborate as a Paper Plane.
Step 6: Dessert ~ Keep It Simple
Here’s an unpopular opinion: dessert isn’t a must-have.
If it’s a holiday like Thanksgiving, consider buying a pie from a bakery or delegating the task to someone else. People will always ask what they can bring, and if you know a baker, this is the perfect job for them.
By the time dessert rolls around, everyone should be full and maybe a little tipsy, so there’s no need to overthink it.
Step 7: Simplify the Table Setting
Setting the table doesn’t have to be complicated.
A few well-chosen elements can create a stunning effect without requiring hours of work.
Focus on neutral tableware that can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. Invest in versatile pieces like linen napkins or small decor pieces like bud vases or ikebana you find fun, which can be used across various themes and holidays.
Express Wedding via Pinterest
More on Setting the Scene
Now, let’s talk about the table. How do we make the most of what we have without buying new elements every time we host to keep it exciting? What makes for a good table setting? Here are a few ideas for my favourite types of parties.
A friend of mine hosts an annual Chrismukkah party and does an incredible spread on her dining table, complete with a bar on the side and every accoutrement you can imagine. She pulls this off with a total mix of dishware, vessels, flowers, and colours. Each time she hosts, it looks different, yet it always feels perfectly put together. Maybe she’s pulling her hair out beforehand, but I doubt it.
The days of the white tablecloth are fading unless you have one—in which case, by all means, use it! Even placemats are becoming a thing of the past. This leaves you with a blank slate (or whatever material your table is made of) to design however you like.
Cloth Napkins and Other Staple Items Go a Long Way
Cloth napkins are an easy way to elevate your dining experience. They can be washed and reused endlessly and add a definite sense of sophistication. You don’t have to overspend - you can go to Homesense or IKEA to find simple linen or cotton napkins that can be used for all your dinner parties.
A few high-quality staple items can make a significant impact. My mother-in-law has a gorgeous, heavy salt and pepper grinder that she puts out at every dinner. This tiny detail adds oodles of elegance.
Candles are the easiest cheat.
I’m a huge fan of Yummi candles, which come in dozens of colours and sizes. You can use the same holders and simply swap out the candles to match your colour theme, keeping your table looking fresh at a low cost.
Low-Cost, High-Impact Touches
Ribbons—maybe leftover from gifts or packages—can be repurposed to decorate for the holidays. Bows are a festive touch that adds charm without breaking the bank.
Flowers can be tricky on a table where you plan to eat. I always caution against arrangements that are too tall. You want people to be able to see one another, and a towering bouquet will just get in the way.
Foliage is a secret I learned from the incredible stylists I work with on photoshoots.
Forage around your neighbourhood and “borrow” branches or foliage to create a gorgeous seasonal centrepiece. You don’t have to spend a fortune on flowers to achieve a beautiful look.
Layers Add Depth
Layering is an easy trick that always elevates the look of your table. Unless you’re Martha Stewart, you probably don’t have a full set of matching tableware, and that’s okay. Mixing, matching, and layering different elements—in theme—will look even better.
If you don’t have a literal theme, pick a colour scheme, and you’ll be just fine. If your Thanksgiving meal is a classic one, you can choose from any number of colours. A casual approach not only makes your life easier but also makes your guests feel more comfortable.
Lighting
Love My Dress via Pinterest
As a designer, I often consider the different light sources, whether natural light from windows, overhead fixtures, or accent lighting.
While it may seem obvious, getting the lighting just right profoundly impacts the overall ambiance.
Dimming the main lights and focusing on accent lighting, along with candles, is a simple yet effective way to instantly set the mood.
In Conclusion
Hosting a dinner party, especially during the holiday season, should be a joyful experience, not a stressful one.
By embracing a few simple strategies—like choosing a theme, planning ahead, and delegating tasks—you can create a memorable event that both you and your guests will enjoy.
Remember, the most important ingredient in any gathering is the atmosphere you create.
Keep it relaxed, keep it fun, and above all, enjoy the process. After all, the true art of hosting lies not in perfection but in the warmth and connection you bring to the table.
And one last thing—if there aren’t any photos of the event, you know you did something right because everyone was having too much fun to remember to take a pic. Unfortunately, this is why I have almost NO footage from the many dinners I’ve hosted (that and being a terrible documentarian). :)